#103: Happiness
Jan. 9th, 2017 06:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sweetestjonginTitle: Happiness
Pairing(s): Simba|Youngjin (JJCC) x Kai|Jongin (Exo)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5380
Warning(s):Age Gap | Unusual Pairings
Summary: After a bad breakup, Youngjin finally decided to try the agency.
Author's Note: The prompt was interpreted, the key aspects and making things my own. I hope that's alright with you guys.
Youngjin @therealyoungjin 15h
another bail story of my life- South Korea
A sigh left Youngjin’s lips as he watched the pathetic scroll of his twitter feed, the screen of his laptop dimmed. Usually, he’d be happy about the attention he’d be receiving from his beloved fans. However, as he stared at the screen impassively, he just couldn’t put himself in the mood. It just wasn’t a day where the usual, “I told you guys she wasn’t right for OUR oppa,” and the, “You selfish bastard! It’s ur fault!” tweets put a comedic grin on his face. At least, not in the way it was supposed to.
Youngjin mustered up a pensive frown on his face before he pushed himself away from his computer desk. He couldn’t take their judgements, whether they were positive or negative. He had to get away. Away from them. Away from everything. And he would have had he not tripped over what he had assumed to be a rattle and fallen flat on his face.
Youngjin could hear the snickering of his peers, loud and clear in his ears, as he winced at the pain. “Ha-ha,” he wheezed sarcastically, lithe arms pushing him up and out of his feet and chair mess. He teetered awkwardly on his feet before he stood up right, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants legs. He ignored the heat in his face as he glared at his Hyung.
The elder couldn’t wipe the smirk on his face as he shrugged. “Sorry, Youngjin-ah but you know how Junah is with her toys.” Yeah, he knew. The whole house was her toy box. The male sighed as he wracked a hand through his messy bangs. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just out of it, Hyung,” the younger whispered as he straightened the fallen chair and sat upon it. He closed the laptop, his hand lingering for a moment before he moved it.
Joonyoung let out a small giggle, eyes full of mirth. “I know, you know? With the break up-” a harsh glare cut him off. “Sorry, sorry. I mean, the separation from-” another one stopped him cold in his tracks. Joonyoung smile faltered a bit as he composed himself, “-that woman, you’ve been out of it. You really shouldn’t go against the agency, man. For this exact reason.
Youngjin just sighed as he looked away. “I just thought,” he sighed deeply, “so what? Screw the agency. So, what if we can’t get married? We’ll be fine,’ Youngjin murmured, deflating the more he spoke. With a quick blink, he willed away the subject with a, “What’s for dinner.” Eddy, who had been relatively quiet sans a few snickers here and there, scoffed. “You know you’re on your own. I have a date with Henry again tonight.” Henry. The “dance” teacher.
“That’s the dude you met at the agency right,” Joonyoung inquired, eyes hopeful for some reason that Youngjin could not detect. Eddy nodded, earning a smile from the oldest and a frown from the youngest. Eddy let out a howling laugh, eyes scrunching in the corners. “Don’t look like that, Jin. Henry’s great.” Youngjin hissed, eyes wild and bright with anger. “And how would you know that? You’ve only gone out twice!” Eddy and Joonyoung looked at each other, a tentative look on both of their faces, before they bust out into gut wrenching laughter. The sound of their joy filled every inch of the room, so loud in its timbre that Youngjin thought the couches and tables were shaking in their spots. The youngest let out a low growl, face screwed into distaste.
“It isn’t funny, guys! I’m being serious!”
Joonyoung (Thankfully) was the first to recover, hands folded in his lap. “You know,” he began, eyes on the maknae, “you give the agency more crap than they deserve.” Joonyoung wiped his slightly moist eyes before he gave Youngjin an hard stare, hands offering Eddy a tissue for do, you hate on that?” Youngjin merely frowned. The army wasn’t bad nor were the two years perhaps his own eyes. Youngjin wasn’t sure. The man wordlessly accepted it. “Youngjin’s right,” Eddy said, almost in a matter of fact tone. “Out of all the things the government has forced you to’ worth of rations he endured in that time. However, the agency? Now that was bad. He groaned, eyes focused off to the side. “It’s stupid. Why force someone to get married through a system? It’s unethical!” The two, once again, just laughed, ignoring the other’s feelings.
He had hissed and stood up, already planning his departure when one of them spoke. Their words stopped him dead in his tracks:
“You’ll never know until you try it.”
Youngjin @therealyoungjin 22h
sometimes I really hate how you get me to try things
It was the words from the infamous Eddy Oh that almost had Youngjin racing out to Seoul almost two weeks prior. The words had weighed heavily on him, infesting his mind until he just couldn’t help but take the male’s advice. What was the worst that could happen, right? He stays in the system after he realizes how pointless it is?
No. The worse thing that could happen, Youngjin thought with a grimace, was if the media found out or if he was stuck with a JJCC anti-fan. He shivered at that thought. That was the worse thing that could happen. Not to mention the fact that those really were the probabilities he faced that could arise at any moment. He might as well turn around right now and not even bother with the senseless possibilities.
What was worse was that she could end up as his match. It had only been a month since the split. What if her relationship with Mr. I-Am-Better-Than-Your-Wash-Out-Burned-Out-Self went splitzo? And then ironically, he paired up with her in a weird game played by the universe.
Youngjin scoffed as he sped through the countryside. What wishful thinking. There was no way in hell that that was a possibility. Mr. IABTYWOBOS was much better than he was. He should know. It was his best friend that she left him for.
Youngjin scoffed as he gripped the steering wheel harder. He wouldn’t- no, couldn’t- let this get in his way. She was nothing. Mr. IABTYWOBOS was nothing. Nothing mattered. Just the agency.
Someone must have leaked the news of Youngjin going to the agency. He had just turned onto the street that the agency had been located on, he had saw the fan base. They were lined up down the block, obtuse in shape as they obstructed the agency doors.
Truthfully, Youngjin found it annoying. He couldn’t stand it that they were standing there, the thought coursing through his mind as he brought his car to as stop in the agency’s parking lot. Unfortunately, they were going to have to move (was that unfortunate? Youngjin really couldn’t tell) so he could enter the agency yet Youngjin wasn’t sure if they’d be willing to. He could hear the Oppas shouts from beyond the car wall as the fans got closer.
He was going to have to leave his car. Things weren’t going to let up. Youngjin knew. He had gone with both Eddy and Joonyoung when they went to get their applications into the agency. Both times were hectic. So, with a stifled groan, Youngjin quickly departed the car and kept his head low.
“Oppa! Love me!” “Oppa, you don’t know what the agency will do! Don’t do it. You don’t need them!” “Simba-Hyung, I’ll be the one you need! Chose a man! He’ll do you right!” Youngjin couldn’t help but frown at the one-sided propositions. The whole idea of dating a frown seemed far-fetched. Besides, Youngjin already had made up his minds about them. Fans for the beds, not to wed.
Sarang’s Arrow was the only agency in Korea. After the UN and every country associated with the organization agreed to monitor the love and the citizens finding their life partners, Sarang’s Arrow had begun it existence. Now, more than a hundred years (or two) later, Sarang’s had been around, matching people up.
Youngjin couldn’t help but frown as he walked carefully into the building and to the receptionist desk. “Hello. Are you… JC’s Simba?” Youngjin cringed internally at the stage name yet nodded despite it. The woman at the desk lit up, her face akin to a child in an ice cream store. She stood up onto knobbly knees and bowed. “Welcome! After your ‘outburst,’ we’ve been expecting you.”
Self-sufficient, rude ass bitch. Youngjin let the remark burn in the back of his head. Despite wanting to inform her that she was being beyond ignorant, Youngjin had to remind himself that this whole endeavours was business in a way. The snarky remarks and rude quips would have to wait until later. So, instead, he plastered on a fake on a fake smile and ignored the bitch’s comment. She continued without a hitch, “Our… ‘Consultant’ is currently in an interview. However, I can have someone else from Design come and talk to you early?”
Youngjin almost gagged at the proposal. He knew that she’d get as scolding from her boss and the designer for fucking up the order of process if he agreed. The idea was almost tempting. To get a desperate-to-please secretary in trouble was a highlight to any day. However, with the media and society against him already, being a perpetual prick would just add to the negativity. So, he shook his head and widened the smile. “A wait will never hurt, miss,” Youngjin glanced at her nameplate, “Yoon.”
The female’s face flamed, a soft chuckle leaving her red lips. Awkward yet quiet. “Stop, please. You make me feel old.” Youngjin tried to stop the corners of his lips from dipping. When has calling someone old been a way to call someone old?
Before he could formulate his confusion into words, the woman had pushed him into a not-so-comfy red love seat, dropping a magazine into his fingers. She was gone as quickly as it all had transpired, sending him a quick wink. Youngjin let a frown fully settle this time. There had to be something off with that woman. With a soft sigh, Youngjin tuned all the outside noise, eyes focused on his new found reading material. He hadn’t gotten past Park JinEun and Yong JunHyung’s dating scandal when a soft voice filtered into his ears.
It was husky and beyond sexy. Youngin wasn’t sure if it was mortally possible to sound that sexy. But, as he looked up, it seemed it could only be if the sexiness of the voice the owner. And that was an affirmative. Before him stood a dark-haired goddess. His lazy eyes swept the floor idly as his head nodded quickly. Youngjin hadn’t heard that he had been summoned until the goddess had stared at him, head cocked.
With an awkward cough, Youngjin stood up, long legs floating him to the mysterious goddess. Don’t be a dunce! Don’t be a dunce! Youngjin tried to look cool yet the goddess was already paying attention to the floor again. Shit!
“I’m glad you finally decided to consult the agency, Mr. Kim. I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results,” a man wearing an onyx suit and cherry tie said smugly. Youngjin nodded, eyes still on his goddess. Was it possible for someone to be so pretty? “Mr. Kim Jongin, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us shortly.” The goddess nodded and without a word, slipped out the front door into the crowd of Youngjin (excuse him. Simba) fans. Youngjin’s eyes followed the goddess, Kim Jongin, until the crowd consumed him. What a pretty name for a pretty face.
A cough and a tug on the elbow brought Youngjin out of his stupor. Suit-and-Tie was tapping his feet impatiently. “Let’s get everything underway, shall we, Mr. Kim?” Youngjin but his tongue. He followed Suit-and-Tie into a white, windowless room and sat at a wooden Mahoney desk on a similar coloured desk chair. When he sat down upon the man’s advice, a look of discomfort on his face, they began.
“Age?” “Twenty-Seven.”
“Job?” “Leader in an idol band.”
“Interests?” “Kim Jongin.”
“Kim Jongin?” Youngjin watched as Suit-and-Tie’s face contorted in confusion. Youngjin kept a calm persona as his mind wrecked havoc on himself. He wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. Yet, he did and now the man was waiting, salt and pepper hair held as stiff as the man’s muscles. What would he say? What would he-
“Kim Jongin and I. We have similar interests and our personalities? Well, let’s just say, are beyond compatible.”
Youngjin had regretted ever saying his personality matched Kim Jongin’s ever since the words had left his lips. What was he thinking?! Had he known him before, everything would have been better. However, as Youngjin sat at his computer, reading his match off the agency’s website, he realized what he had said had, had a greater impact than he had intended. Because, there in front of him, was a page that was labelled Kim Jongin, a picture space empty to confirmed that he was still on the market.
Eddy and Joonyoung had already berated him from the moment they had heard what he had done. Now, they were sitting on the coach, snickering at his misfortune (or was it fortune? Jongin’s misfortune was really the case). And to be completely honest, Youngjin felt like shit.
“What if we aren’t compatible? What if we… I don’t know? What if we end up back on the agency with no purpose and a...? I don’t know! A STD of the agency. What if- “Youngjin was interrupted by Joonyoung. “As much as I want to hear your dilemma, I have to pick Junah from daycare.” Youngjin frowned and turned to Eddy, who simply laughed. “Sorry, dude. I must agree with Joonyoung here. I have a date to get ready for.” Youngjin whined loudly, frown deepening. “You can’t do this! Eddy, help a leader out! Please?”
Eddy laughed as he heaved himself out of the chesterfield and sauntered over to Youngjin. He took a quick glance at the screen and gave Youngjin a smile. “Step one. Go on a date.”
Youngjin had listened to Sensei Oh and had arranged a date with Kim Jongin. It was a simple coffee date at a café not too far from Jongin’s university (It had been a surprise to Youngjin that Jongin was a mere twenty years old). Despite it only being coffee, Youngjin spent forever getting ready. Did he wear a suit? Or would a dress shirt and skinnies suffice? Youngjin had never been on a date that wasn’t idol parties or cd releases and Youngjin was positive that his ‘coffee date’ would not lead to him pushing Jongin against a bathroom stall for the majority of it.
Youngjin had ended up settling for the skinny-skirt combo, pairing it with a snazzy tie before rushing out of the house. He could hear Joonyoung explaining to four years old Junah that, “Uncle Jin [had] a big date [that night] that’s really important.” It had taken two hours for Youngjin to get to Seoul from the countryside and before he knew it, he was bobbing a leg nervously against the floor as he sipped a three cream, three sugar coffee. He was early. A half hour at least and the extra time left him teetering with anxiety.
He adjusted the name tag he’d been handed after he had given his name for the coffee (“Jongin-ah wanted you to wear this.”). He tapped on the golden honey wood (Was it painted that way?) and sighed. Butterflies ran through his stomach every time someone walked in through the doors. None of them were Jongin (No. That one’s too skinny. That’s a woman. He’s pretty sure Jongin didn’t have a face tattoo). Youngjin felt like he’d puke if he felt the tiny butterflies and grasshoppers and whatever else was moving in his stomach.
“Youngjin?” The said man looked up to see Jongin, looking as stoic and stunning as Youngjin had remembered. Clumsily, Youngjin stood and bowed. “G-good afternoon! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” When he stood tall, he could see that Jongin’s face was contorted in something. Embarrassment? Shame? Surprise? Youngjin wasn’t sure but he wouldn’t dwell on it.
After Jongin took a seat and Youngjin (who firmly insisted) got the younger an ice coffee, the two had fallen into an awkward silence. Neither of them spoke as Jongin flipped through a food menu and Youngjin sipped on his second triple-triple. “Do you like cheesecake?” Youngjin looked up in surprised to see a questioning Jongin. Youngjin quickly noted the cute pout of Jongin’s lips and the quirky furrow of his brow before he nodded yes. Jongin gave a curt nod before turning to a waiter, one Youngjin wasn’t sure when they appeared.
Youngjin noted the way Jongin spoke. The way his voice got low and then increased slightly with a quiet laugh. The way his smile was tiny, with slightly curved corners. Youngjin couldn’t help but think that Jongin was gorgeous. When the waiter left, Jongin graced Youngjin with his smile. The leader wasn’t sure if he had finally gained some type of comfortability with the elder but the thought made the man smile as well.
“So Youngjin. Tell me about yourself.”
Youngjin couldn’t wipe the smile on his face. Joonyoung had laughed at the love-stricken expression he had made, murmuring to Hadon about how he and Eddy were right. If Youngjin wasn’t so happy, he’d deck the elder. Youngjin’s head whipped when he heard the soft, familiar ping of his notifications ringer. Jongin had sent him a text with a picture of a cute koala bear.
Jon: Going to first period. Text L8R?
Young: Have fun! & yes
“Lover boy?” Youngjin looked at Eddy with a wider smile. A nod. “How long has it been?” Youngjin took a glance at the date. “Two weeks? Three?” Eddy tsked. “And you judged me? At least Henry and I messaged for a month before we met up for the second time.” Youngjin waved him off. “Jongin is nice and cute. He goes to Sudon U,” he said happily. Hadon laughed. “Not even a month yet and he’s bragging.” Youngjin laughed as he turned to his laptop. His SNS was open and he could see the flood of news pour in. In his peripheral vision, he could also see a private message. Sitting in the corner of the page like he owned it, was a message from Kim Minseok. SM’s Kim Minseok. It read:
Min: ‘Beach Party?’ in Seoul. JC’s invited, bring company. -Thursday
Youngjin frowned. Thursday was another date with Jongin. Besides, if Kim Minseok invited him, that meant- “A beach party? Sounds cool! Let’s go!” Eddy. Youngjin plastered on an apologetic smile. “You guys can go ahead but I think I’ll have to stay out of this one. Date.” The response seemed to make the room as chilly as it was silent. “Youngjin,” Joonyoung started, “This isn’t being invited to a party. It’s work. What would we tell the reporters if our leader decided to not show?” Eddy made a sound of agreement while Hadon slipped out of the living room. The chicken bastard!
Youngjin sighed as he swivelled in his chair to face Joonyoung. “I’m busy? I had to help at the studio? I don’t know but, I don’t want to blow off Jongin.” “So, don’t!” Joonyoung bit out, voice raw. “Bring him as your guest. I don’t care! You’ll figure it out. You’re the leader.” The words left a slimy feeling on Youngjin’s skin. “The leader? So, I can’t bail on a stupid beach party yet you guys can bail on actual work days for dates? Because I’m the leader, right?” Youngjin wasn’t wrong. Since these dates with Hadon and Henry started, their lovers would miss performances and recording sessions in favour of their partners (or, in Joonyoung’s case, husband).
Joonyoung’s face softened. “Youngjin… You know I didn’t mean it that way.” Youngjin scoffed as he slammed his laptop close before stalking off to his room.
Neither Eddy nor Joonyoung bothered him that night.
After an awkward week with his bandmates at work and an even more awkward time at the dorm, Youngjin had relented and broke his date with Jongin, opting to take the younger out to eat the next day. Joonyoung and him still weren’t talking. Well, they did. They had to. Youngjin had offered to take Junah to school everyday for that week so that Joonyoung could drive Hadon to work in Seoul. And they had to meet at nine every morning to write and practice and record their progress and work. Work couldn’t be put at bay. Yet, they didn’t extend their conversing past the work environment.
Eddy has also taken Joonyoung’s side. That caused their communication to be quite strained as well. Yet, Joonyoung made it in first place in band members who he wasn’t comfortable talking to. Youngjin had relented to meeting the band and co. at the party. He would rather not be sandwich between a bumbling Preddy Moh (Eddy and Henry’s ship name). The drive wasn’t bad though. Not with Jongin, quiet yet comforting, on the phone. “My dance teacher took the day off. Something about getting ready for a date tonight. So, I got to go home and work on that English essay I told you about.”
A rush of guilt flashed through Youngjin. “To Kill a Mockingbird, right?” Jongin hummed, approvingly, in response. “Anyway, what are you doing for work, again?” Youngjin sighed. “A work party. I’m the leader so I can’t miss it. I’m sorry.” Youngjin heard Jongin’s soft hum through his car speakers, the sound understanding. “It’s okay. Besides, I was asked to attend something tonight. I guess it works out.” It was Youngjin’s turn to hum in understanding. “Is it for the book you just wrote?” Another hummed answer.
Youngjin had learned sometime on their second date that his ‘innocent boyfriend’ (were they dating? Youngjin wasn’t sure.) had wrote two provocative NY Times best sellers. Youngjin had secretly purchased both novels and after reading the two, he wondered how much sexual experience cute Jongin actually had. “Yeah. Some actor read the book and said it was something he wanted to discuss more and a possible job offer. Also, wanted me to meet some friends.” Youngjin smiled. “That’s good. Didn’t you say you wanted to start a new project before the year ends?” Youngjin asked as he turned the car into Seoul, the sign waving him in. “Yeah,” the younger murmured softly.
“That’s cool! What do you think it will be about?” Jongin took a moment. “Don’t know. Probably co-write a new drama or movie. 19-A is getting really popular these days.” Youngjin hummed. “Got to go. Text me later?” Jongin asked shyly. Youngjin smiled softly. “Yeah.”
Youngjin frowned as he felt the heat beat down on him. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn black and well… skinnies and combat boots. He clearly was overdressed when Joonyoung (who seemed to forget that they were arguing or upset with one another as he hugged him and boasted about beer) and Eddy arrived, both in shorts and no shirts. At least Henry and Hadon were both dressed like him. “Where’s…” Hadon laughed at Youngjin’s concern. “My mother has Junah tonight. I don’t really think this is a child-friendly event,” Hadon mused. Youngjin laughed and nodded. Hadon was absolutely right.
Youngjin turned to Henry. The emerald haired male smiled and waved yet made no move to speak. Before Youngjin could question it, Eddy interjected. “He doesn’t really speak Korean.” Youngjin nodded and cursed the American English speaker, at least… Youngjin assumed Henry spoke English.
“Youngjin! You’re here!” Minseok exclaimed. The short male sauntered over, a smile on his face. Youngjin instantly smiled “Min. How’re you? Almost awesome party.” Minseok laughed. “I’m good. And you’ll hurt Daehwn’s feelings. He did the party.” Youngjin’s smile deepened. Of course, the baozi’s equally baozi husband did it. “In that case, it’s amazing.” The two laughed, Minseok even pausing to greet the rest of JC and their guests. “Guys, I want you to meet someone. Follow me!” Minseok dragged the men further into the beach. It was just the club, Black Pearl, decked out in palm trees and half naked people.
Youngjin’s laugh died out as he saw a newly familiar figure sitting at the bar, a cheap beer in hand. Jongin had his eyes trained on Youngjin, his lips pressed into a tense line. “Youngjin, I want you to meet- “We’ve met before,” Jongin bitterly spat, downing his beer. A bad sign. Minseok clearly hadn’t noticed anything wrong as his smile widened while his eyes locked on Youngjin. “I didn’t know you knew him. Jongin’s an amazing author, ya know.” Youngjin nodded robotically. “I know. Do you mind if I…” his voice trailed off.
Thankfully, Jongin was already slamming his beer bottle down and walking off, motioning for Youngjin to follow him. Youngjin had never moved as fast in his life.
Jongin had brought Youngjin to the club’s back entrance, his hand holding the door open. Youngjin reluctantly exited and before he knew it, he was feeling extremely small despite being taller than Jongin. “So… you’re the leader of JC?” Youngjin nodded. “So, you’re that erratic guy who broke with his girlfriend with a big scene?” Youngjin awkwardly laughed. “You heard about that?” Jongin just nodded.
“The thing is… I’m not even angry about that. What I’m angry about is what you didn’t tell me. What else did you not tell me?” And the words fell faster than Youngjin could eve think of stopping them. “I lied about knowing you just to be matched with you.” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. The hurt that was clear on Jongin’s face was so earth shattering that the floor practically swallowed him hold.
When Youngjin had finally regained his composure, Jongin was already fleeing through the back door, leaving Youngjin alone.
Youngjin hadn’t spoken to Jongin in almost three weeks. Jongin had blocked his number, rejected his emails to his business accounts, and evaded all means of seeing him in person. And Youngjin was losing it. He hadn’t eaten in at least a week. His hygiene? Well that was another story to be told alone by mere scent. He hadn’t left his room since Tuesday and he could feel the other’s concern through the door. He just felt like shit. He just wanted to apologize to Jongin and with Jongin ignoring him, Youngjin want going to get anywhere/ Everyday, he’d sent a text asking- pleading for Jongin to actually talk to him. And everyday, Jongin would reply with silence.
Yet, Youngjin couldn’t complain. He had lied and deceived Jongin. He hadn’t been able to trust Jongin enough to trust him with the professional side of his life. He had ruined them. Not Jongin. Jongin was perfect. Jongin was-
“Youngjin, you have to get ready for work! Jackie won’t allow you to miss another day!” Joonyoung. After the whole relationship blow up, Joonyoung had found Youngjin completely shattered behind the Black Pearl’s dumpster. He had reverted to his motherly persona, taking care of a heartbroken Youngjin. He had driven the younger back and had taken care of him until he’d finally succumbed to regret and self-pity and hid in his room.
“Youngjin, come on. You have to come out!” Eddy this time. Youngjin began to weigh his options. Come out and face his band members or stay and get even more filthy and more distraught? The latter was extremely appealing. “No! Go away!” What Youngjin was not expecting was for Eddy to put his martial art skills to use and break down his door, clean off the hinges. The elder had glared at Youngjin before shoving him out the room, over the trashed door and into the bathroom. After being threatened by Eddy, Youngjin finally took care of his hygienic situation. After a half hour, he emerged wearing an oversized sweater and boxers.
“Perfect,” Joonyoung said when Youngjin entered the living room. News of his breakdown was wafting off the television set in waves. Junah watched from Hadon’s lap. Youngjin plopped down beside them. “Simba of JC found in yet another controversy. After seven months after his public break up with SNSD’s Yura, he is found in a dumpster in a mental breakdown. Reports say he had another relationship conflict. Jackie Chan’s issued a press conference this afternoon to address the matter.”
Press. Conference? The words barely registered in Youngjin’s mind before he understood. “I’m attending a press conference today.” Joonyoung nodded. Youngjin sighed. It had to be done, he assumed. Might as well ease the public, tight?
Youngjin paced around the dressing room anxiously. He’d been waiting patiently for the PR director or someone to call him. To warn him to find something to say. Yet, no one came, leaving Youngjin alone with his thoughts. What if everything went wrong? What if everything ended up the same as it did with Yura. A failure. What if all his hard word went to waste? The what ifs swirled around in his mind, parasitic as they chewed into his brain and thoughts.
“Kim Youngjin? Are you ready?” a man with a huge lanyard asked, his eyes trained on him. He nodded. The, am wordlessly lead him to a stage, just out of sight. Jackie wasn’t there. It was his assistant who called Youngjin to the front, asking him to be as honest as he could. Youngjin knew that, that meant to do exactly as you’ve been told to say. This wasn’t his first press conference.
And, without Youngjin knowing, he was already standing in front of the podium, mouth dry and reluctant to speak. The reporters and camera crew were made with their questions and flashes. “Did you really have a melt down?” “Do you know that the man you were dating was a famous author?” “What is your view on the subject?” “Do you want to get back together with him.”
The questions stopped the moment he spoke. “After my relationship with Yura ended miserably, my bandmates urged me to do the right thing and go to the agency. I resented the idea. The agency wasn’t for me. Yet, I went. I wanted to find someone who liked me and would make me look better in the public eye. As you know, breaking up with someone on stage isn’t really commendable.” A murmur of agreement erupted.
Youngjin sighed. “So, I went. I saw him, yes. It’s a guy. I saw him when I was waiting and while he was coming out. So, when I was in the questioning process, I said that our personalities were alike to be paired with him. And it happened. I guess you can say we were seeing each other platonically. But I was lying to him. And when he realized it and everything happened, I was too forgone. It was a pity too. I really liked him. Even in the short span of time, I wanted to enter a serious relation with him.
“I guess all I can do now is apologize. To him. To Yura and Benji. To all of you for coming out. And to my bandmates and fans. I can’t really say all that I want here yet I hope you all will allow me to do so in a move personal way. That’s all.
Youngjin ignored the demands and questions as he walked off the stage. He set a look to Jackie’s assistant and then a thankful one to the crowd. That’s where he saw him. There, in the middle of the sea of reporters, was Kim Jongin, looking apologetic and wanting to say some.
That day, when the press conference was still underway, Youngjin and Jongin were in the dressing room, Youngjin pressing Jongin into the wall. Maybe fighting just made for really great make ups. Regardless, as Youngin had Jongin keening under him, he smiled.
He was perfect.
Pairing(s): Simba|Youngjin (JJCC) x Kai|Jongin (Exo)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5380
Warning(s):
Summary: After a bad breakup, Youngjin finally decided to try the agency.
Author's Note: The prompt was interpreted, the key aspects and making things my own. I hope that's alright with you guys.
Youngjin @therealyoungjin 15h
another bail story of my life- South Korea
A sigh left Youngjin’s lips as he watched the pathetic scroll of his twitter feed, the screen of his laptop dimmed. Usually, he’d be happy about the attention he’d be receiving from his beloved fans. However, as he stared at the screen impassively, he just couldn’t put himself in the mood. It just wasn’t a day where the usual, “I told you guys she wasn’t right for OUR oppa,” and the, “You selfish bastard! It’s ur fault!” tweets put a comedic grin on his face. At least, not in the way it was supposed to.
Youngjin mustered up a pensive frown on his face before he pushed himself away from his computer desk. He couldn’t take their judgements, whether they were positive or negative. He had to get away. Away from them. Away from everything. And he would have had he not tripped over what he had assumed to be a rattle and fallen flat on his face.
Youngjin could hear the snickering of his peers, loud and clear in his ears, as he winced at the pain. “Ha-ha,” he wheezed sarcastically, lithe arms pushing him up and out of his feet and chair mess. He teetered awkwardly on his feet before he stood up right, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants legs. He ignored the heat in his face as he glared at his Hyung.
The elder couldn’t wipe the smirk on his face as he shrugged. “Sorry, Youngjin-ah but you know how Junah is with her toys.” Yeah, he knew. The whole house was her toy box. The male sighed as he wracked a hand through his messy bangs. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just out of it, Hyung,” the younger whispered as he straightened the fallen chair and sat upon it. He closed the laptop, his hand lingering for a moment before he moved it.
Joonyoung let out a small giggle, eyes full of mirth. “I know, you know? With the break up-” a harsh glare cut him off. “Sorry, sorry. I mean, the separation from-” another one stopped him cold in his tracks. Joonyoung smile faltered a bit as he composed himself, “-that woman, you’ve been out of it. You really shouldn’t go against the agency, man. For this exact reason.
Youngjin just sighed as he looked away. “I just thought,” he sighed deeply, “so what? Screw the agency. So, what if we can’t get married? We’ll be fine,’ Youngjin murmured, deflating the more he spoke. With a quick blink, he willed away the subject with a, “What’s for dinner.” Eddy, who had been relatively quiet sans a few snickers here and there, scoffed. “You know you’re on your own. I have a date with Henry again tonight.” Henry. The “dance” teacher.
“That’s the dude you met at the agency right,” Joonyoung inquired, eyes hopeful for some reason that Youngjin could not detect. Eddy nodded, earning a smile from the oldest and a frown from the youngest. Eddy let out a howling laugh, eyes scrunching in the corners. “Don’t look like that, Jin. Henry’s great.” Youngjin hissed, eyes wild and bright with anger. “And how would you know that? You’ve only gone out twice!” Eddy and Joonyoung looked at each other, a tentative look on both of their faces, before they bust out into gut wrenching laughter. The sound of their joy filled every inch of the room, so loud in its timbre that Youngjin thought the couches and tables were shaking in their spots. The youngest let out a low growl, face screwed into distaste.
“It isn’t funny, guys! I’m being serious!”
Joonyoung (Thankfully) was the first to recover, hands folded in his lap. “You know,” he began, eyes on the maknae, “you give the agency more crap than they deserve.” Joonyoung wiped his slightly moist eyes before he gave Youngjin an hard stare, hands offering Eddy a tissue for do, you hate on that?” Youngjin merely frowned. The army wasn’t bad nor were the two years perhaps his own eyes. Youngjin wasn’t sure. The man wordlessly accepted it. “Youngjin’s right,” Eddy said, almost in a matter of fact tone. “Out of all the things the government has forced you to’ worth of rations he endured in that time. However, the agency? Now that was bad. He groaned, eyes focused off to the side. “It’s stupid. Why force someone to get married through a system? It’s unethical!” The two, once again, just laughed, ignoring the other’s feelings.
He had hissed and stood up, already planning his departure when one of them spoke. Their words stopped him dead in his tracks:
“You’ll never know until you try it.”
Youngjin @therealyoungjin 22h
sometimes I really hate how you get me to try things
It was the words from the infamous Eddy Oh that almost had Youngjin racing out to Seoul almost two weeks prior. The words had weighed heavily on him, infesting his mind until he just couldn’t help but take the male’s advice. What was the worst that could happen, right? He stays in the system after he realizes how pointless it is?
No. The worse thing that could happen, Youngjin thought with a grimace, was if the media found out or if he was stuck with a JJCC anti-fan. He shivered at that thought. That was the worse thing that could happen. Not to mention the fact that those really were the probabilities he faced that could arise at any moment. He might as well turn around right now and not even bother with the senseless possibilities.
What was worse was that she could end up as his match. It had only been a month since the split. What if her relationship with Mr. I-Am-Better-Than-Your-Wash-Out-Burned-Out-Self went splitzo? And then ironically, he paired up with her in a weird game played by the universe.
Youngjin scoffed as he sped through the countryside. What wishful thinking. There was no way in hell that that was a possibility. Mr. IABTYWOBOS was much better than he was. He should know. It was his best friend that she left him for.
Youngjin scoffed as he gripped the steering wheel harder. He wouldn’t- no, couldn’t- let this get in his way. She was nothing. Mr. IABTYWOBOS was nothing. Nothing mattered. Just the agency.
Someone must have leaked the news of Youngjin going to the agency. He had just turned onto the street that the agency had been located on, he had saw the fan base. They were lined up down the block, obtuse in shape as they obstructed the agency doors.
Truthfully, Youngjin found it annoying. He couldn’t stand it that they were standing there, the thought coursing through his mind as he brought his car to as stop in the agency’s parking lot. Unfortunately, they were going to have to move (was that unfortunate? Youngjin really couldn’t tell) so he could enter the agency yet Youngjin wasn’t sure if they’d be willing to. He could hear the Oppas shouts from beyond the car wall as the fans got closer.
He was going to have to leave his car. Things weren’t going to let up. Youngjin knew. He had gone with both Eddy and Joonyoung when they went to get their applications into the agency. Both times were hectic. So, with a stifled groan, Youngjin quickly departed the car and kept his head low.
“Oppa! Love me!” “Oppa, you don’t know what the agency will do! Don’t do it. You don’t need them!” “Simba-Hyung, I’ll be the one you need! Chose a man! He’ll do you right!” Youngjin couldn’t help but frown at the one-sided propositions. The whole idea of dating a frown seemed far-fetched. Besides, Youngjin already had made up his minds about them. Fans for the beds, not to wed.
Sarang’s Arrow was the only agency in Korea. After the UN and every country associated with the organization agreed to monitor the love and the citizens finding their life partners, Sarang’s Arrow had begun it existence. Now, more than a hundred years (or two) later, Sarang’s had been around, matching people up.
Youngjin couldn’t help but frown as he walked carefully into the building and to the receptionist desk. “Hello. Are you… JC’s Simba?” Youngjin cringed internally at the stage name yet nodded despite it. The woman at the desk lit up, her face akin to a child in an ice cream store. She stood up onto knobbly knees and bowed. “Welcome! After your ‘outburst,’ we’ve been expecting you.”
Self-sufficient, rude ass bitch. Youngjin let the remark burn in the back of his head. Despite wanting to inform her that she was being beyond ignorant, Youngjin had to remind himself that this whole endeavours was business in a way. The snarky remarks and rude quips would have to wait until later. So, instead, he plastered on a fake on a fake smile and ignored the bitch’s comment. She continued without a hitch, “Our… ‘Consultant’ is currently in an interview. However, I can have someone else from Design come and talk to you early?”
Youngjin almost gagged at the proposal. He knew that she’d get as scolding from her boss and the designer for fucking up the order of process if he agreed. The idea was almost tempting. To get a desperate-to-please secretary in trouble was a highlight to any day. However, with the media and society against him already, being a perpetual prick would just add to the negativity. So, he shook his head and widened the smile. “A wait will never hurt, miss,” Youngjin glanced at her nameplate, “Yoon.”
The female’s face flamed, a soft chuckle leaving her red lips. Awkward yet quiet. “Stop, please. You make me feel old.” Youngjin tried to stop the corners of his lips from dipping. When has calling someone old been a way to call someone old?
Before he could formulate his confusion into words, the woman had pushed him into a not-so-comfy red love seat, dropping a magazine into his fingers. She was gone as quickly as it all had transpired, sending him a quick wink. Youngjin let a frown fully settle this time. There had to be something off with that woman. With a soft sigh, Youngjin tuned all the outside noise, eyes focused on his new found reading material. He hadn’t gotten past Park JinEun and Yong JunHyung’s dating scandal when a soft voice filtered into his ears.
It was husky and beyond sexy. Youngin wasn’t sure if it was mortally possible to sound that sexy. But, as he looked up, it seemed it could only be if the sexiness of the voice the owner. And that was an affirmative. Before him stood a dark-haired goddess. His lazy eyes swept the floor idly as his head nodded quickly. Youngjin hadn’t heard that he had been summoned until the goddess had stared at him, head cocked.
With an awkward cough, Youngjin stood up, long legs floating him to the mysterious goddess. Don’t be a dunce! Don’t be a dunce! Youngjin tried to look cool yet the goddess was already paying attention to the floor again. Shit!
“I’m glad you finally decided to consult the agency, Mr. Kim. I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results,” a man wearing an onyx suit and cherry tie said smugly. Youngjin nodded, eyes still on his goddess. Was it possible for someone to be so pretty? “Mr. Kim Jongin, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us shortly.” The goddess nodded and without a word, slipped out the front door into the crowd of Youngjin (excuse him. Simba) fans. Youngjin’s eyes followed the goddess, Kim Jongin, until the crowd consumed him. What a pretty name for a pretty face.
A cough and a tug on the elbow brought Youngjin out of his stupor. Suit-and-Tie was tapping his feet impatiently. “Let’s get everything underway, shall we, Mr. Kim?” Youngjin but his tongue. He followed Suit-and-Tie into a white, windowless room and sat at a wooden Mahoney desk on a similar coloured desk chair. When he sat down upon the man’s advice, a look of discomfort on his face, they began.
“Age?” “Twenty-Seven.”
“Job?” “Leader in an idol band.”
“Interests?” “Kim Jongin.”
“Kim Jongin?” Youngjin watched as Suit-and-Tie’s face contorted in confusion. Youngjin kept a calm persona as his mind wrecked havoc on himself. He wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. Yet, he did and now the man was waiting, salt and pepper hair held as stiff as the man’s muscles. What would he say? What would he-
“Kim Jongin and I. We have similar interests and our personalities? Well, let’s just say, are beyond compatible.”
Youngjin had regretted ever saying his personality matched Kim Jongin’s ever since the words had left his lips. What was he thinking?! Had he known him before, everything would have been better. However, as Youngjin sat at his computer, reading his match off the agency’s website, he realized what he had said had, had a greater impact than he had intended. Because, there in front of him, was a page that was labelled Kim Jongin, a picture space empty to confirmed that he was still on the market.
Eddy and Joonyoung had already berated him from the moment they had heard what he had done. Now, they were sitting on the coach, snickering at his misfortune (or was it fortune? Jongin’s misfortune was really the case). And to be completely honest, Youngjin felt like shit.
“What if we aren’t compatible? What if we… I don’t know? What if we end up back on the agency with no purpose and a...? I don’t know! A STD of the agency. What if- “Youngjin was interrupted by Joonyoung. “As much as I want to hear your dilemma, I have to pick Junah from daycare.” Youngjin frowned and turned to Eddy, who simply laughed. “Sorry, dude. I must agree with Joonyoung here. I have a date to get ready for.” Youngjin whined loudly, frown deepening. “You can’t do this! Eddy, help a leader out! Please?”
Eddy laughed as he heaved himself out of the chesterfield and sauntered over to Youngjin. He took a quick glance at the screen and gave Youngjin a smile. “Step one. Go on a date.”
Youngjin had listened to Sensei Oh and had arranged a date with Kim Jongin. It was a simple coffee date at a café not too far from Jongin’s university (It had been a surprise to Youngjin that Jongin was a mere twenty years old). Despite it only being coffee, Youngjin spent forever getting ready. Did he wear a suit? Or would a dress shirt and skinnies suffice? Youngjin had never been on a date that wasn’t idol parties or cd releases and Youngjin was positive that his ‘coffee date’ would not lead to him pushing Jongin against a bathroom stall for the majority of it.
Youngjin had ended up settling for the skinny-skirt combo, pairing it with a snazzy tie before rushing out of the house. He could hear Joonyoung explaining to four years old Junah that, “Uncle Jin [had] a big date [that night] that’s really important.” It had taken two hours for Youngjin to get to Seoul from the countryside and before he knew it, he was bobbing a leg nervously against the floor as he sipped a three cream, three sugar coffee. He was early. A half hour at least and the extra time left him teetering with anxiety.
He adjusted the name tag he’d been handed after he had given his name for the coffee (“Jongin-ah wanted you to wear this.”). He tapped on the golden honey wood (Was it painted that way?) and sighed. Butterflies ran through his stomach every time someone walked in through the doors. None of them were Jongin (No. That one’s too skinny. That’s a woman. He’s pretty sure Jongin didn’t have a face tattoo). Youngjin felt like he’d puke if he felt the tiny butterflies and grasshoppers and whatever else was moving in his stomach.
“Youngjin?” The said man looked up to see Jongin, looking as stoic and stunning as Youngjin had remembered. Clumsily, Youngjin stood and bowed. “G-good afternoon! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” When he stood tall, he could see that Jongin’s face was contorted in something. Embarrassment? Shame? Surprise? Youngjin wasn’t sure but he wouldn’t dwell on it.
After Jongin took a seat and Youngjin (who firmly insisted) got the younger an ice coffee, the two had fallen into an awkward silence. Neither of them spoke as Jongin flipped through a food menu and Youngjin sipped on his second triple-triple. “Do you like cheesecake?” Youngjin looked up in surprised to see a questioning Jongin. Youngjin quickly noted the cute pout of Jongin’s lips and the quirky furrow of his brow before he nodded yes. Jongin gave a curt nod before turning to a waiter, one Youngjin wasn’t sure when they appeared.
Youngjin noted the way Jongin spoke. The way his voice got low and then increased slightly with a quiet laugh. The way his smile was tiny, with slightly curved corners. Youngjin couldn’t help but think that Jongin was gorgeous. When the waiter left, Jongin graced Youngjin with his smile. The leader wasn’t sure if he had finally gained some type of comfortability with the elder but the thought made the man smile as well.
“So Youngjin. Tell me about yourself.”
Youngjin couldn’t wipe the smile on his face. Joonyoung had laughed at the love-stricken expression he had made, murmuring to Hadon about how he and Eddy were right. If Youngjin wasn’t so happy, he’d deck the elder. Youngjin’s head whipped when he heard the soft, familiar ping of his notifications ringer. Jongin had sent him a text with a picture of a cute koala bear.
Jon: Going to first period. Text L8R?
Young: Have fun! & yes
“Lover boy?” Youngjin looked at Eddy with a wider smile. A nod. “How long has it been?” Youngjin took a glance at the date. “Two weeks? Three?” Eddy tsked. “And you judged me? At least Henry and I messaged for a month before we met up for the second time.” Youngjin waved him off. “Jongin is nice and cute. He goes to Sudon U,” he said happily. Hadon laughed. “Not even a month yet and he’s bragging.” Youngjin laughed as he turned to his laptop. His SNS was open and he could see the flood of news pour in. In his peripheral vision, he could also see a private message. Sitting in the corner of the page like he owned it, was a message from Kim Minseok. SM’s Kim Minseok. It read:
Min: ‘Beach Party?’ in Seoul. JC’s invited, bring company. -Thursday
Youngjin frowned. Thursday was another date with Jongin. Besides, if Kim Minseok invited him, that meant- “A beach party? Sounds cool! Let’s go!” Eddy. Youngjin plastered on an apologetic smile. “You guys can go ahead but I think I’ll have to stay out of this one. Date.” The response seemed to make the room as chilly as it was silent. “Youngjin,” Joonyoung started, “This isn’t being invited to a party. It’s work. What would we tell the reporters if our leader decided to not show?” Eddy made a sound of agreement while Hadon slipped out of the living room. The chicken bastard!
Youngjin sighed as he swivelled in his chair to face Joonyoung. “I’m busy? I had to help at the studio? I don’t know but, I don’t want to blow off Jongin.” “So, don’t!” Joonyoung bit out, voice raw. “Bring him as your guest. I don’t care! You’ll figure it out. You’re the leader.” The words left a slimy feeling on Youngjin’s skin. “The leader? So, I can’t bail on a stupid beach party yet you guys can bail on actual work days for dates? Because I’m the leader, right?” Youngjin wasn’t wrong. Since these dates with Hadon and Henry started, their lovers would miss performances and recording sessions in favour of their partners (or, in Joonyoung’s case, husband).
Joonyoung’s face softened. “Youngjin… You know I didn’t mean it that way.” Youngjin scoffed as he slammed his laptop close before stalking off to his room.
Neither Eddy nor Joonyoung bothered him that night.
After an awkward week with his bandmates at work and an even more awkward time at the dorm, Youngjin had relented and broke his date with Jongin, opting to take the younger out to eat the next day. Joonyoung and him still weren’t talking. Well, they did. They had to. Youngjin had offered to take Junah to school everyday for that week so that Joonyoung could drive Hadon to work in Seoul. And they had to meet at nine every morning to write and practice and record their progress and work. Work couldn’t be put at bay. Yet, they didn’t extend their conversing past the work environment.
Eddy has also taken Joonyoung’s side. That caused their communication to be quite strained as well. Yet, Joonyoung made it in first place in band members who he wasn’t comfortable talking to. Youngjin had relented to meeting the band and co. at the party. He would rather not be sandwich between a bumbling Preddy Moh (Eddy and Henry’s ship name). The drive wasn’t bad though. Not with Jongin, quiet yet comforting, on the phone. “My dance teacher took the day off. Something about getting ready for a date tonight. So, I got to go home and work on that English essay I told you about.”
A rush of guilt flashed through Youngjin. “To Kill a Mockingbird, right?” Jongin hummed, approvingly, in response. “Anyway, what are you doing for work, again?” Youngjin sighed. “A work party. I’m the leader so I can’t miss it. I’m sorry.” Youngjin heard Jongin’s soft hum through his car speakers, the sound understanding. “It’s okay. Besides, I was asked to attend something tonight. I guess it works out.” It was Youngjin’s turn to hum in understanding. “Is it for the book you just wrote?” Another hummed answer.
Youngjin had learned sometime on their second date that his ‘innocent boyfriend’ (were they dating? Youngjin wasn’t sure.) had wrote two provocative NY Times best sellers. Youngjin had secretly purchased both novels and after reading the two, he wondered how much sexual experience cute Jongin actually had. “Yeah. Some actor read the book and said it was something he wanted to discuss more and a possible job offer. Also, wanted me to meet some friends.” Youngjin smiled. “That’s good. Didn’t you say you wanted to start a new project before the year ends?” Youngjin asked as he turned the car into Seoul, the sign waving him in. “Yeah,” the younger murmured softly.
“That’s cool! What do you think it will be about?” Jongin took a moment. “Don’t know. Probably co-write a new drama or movie. 19-A is getting really popular these days.” Youngjin hummed. “Got to go. Text me later?” Jongin asked shyly. Youngjin smiled softly. “Yeah.”
Youngjin frowned as he felt the heat beat down on him. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn black and well… skinnies and combat boots. He clearly was overdressed when Joonyoung (who seemed to forget that they were arguing or upset with one another as he hugged him and boasted about beer) and Eddy arrived, both in shorts and no shirts. At least Henry and Hadon were both dressed like him. “Where’s…” Hadon laughed at Youngjin’s concern. “My mother has Junah tonight. I don’t really think this is a child-friendly event,” Hadon mused. Youngjin laughed and nodded. Hadon was absolutely right.
Youngjin turned to Henry. The emerald haired male smiled and waved yet made no move to speak. Before Youngjin could question it, Eddy interjected. “He doesn’t really speak Korean.” Youngjin nodded and cursed the American English speaker, at least… Youngjin assumed Henry spoke English.
“Youngjin! You’re here!” Minseok exclaimed. The short male sauntered over, a smile on his face. Youngjin instantly smiled “Min. How’re you? Almost awesome party.” Minseok laughed. “I’m good. And you’ll hurt Daehwn’s feelings. He did the party.” Youngjin’s smile deepened. Of course, the baozi’s equally baozi husband did it. “In that case, it’s amazing.” The two laughed, Minseok even pausing to greet the rest of JC and their guests. “Guys, I want you to meet someone. Follow me!” Minseok dragged the men further into the beach. It was just the club, Black Pearl, decked out in palm trees and half naked people.
Youngjin’s laugh died out as he saw a newly familiar figure sitting at the bar, a cheap beer in hand. Jongin had his eyes trained on Youngjin, his lips pressed into a tense line. “Youngjin, I want you to meet- “We’ve met before,” Jongin bitterly spat, downing his beer. A bad sign. Minseok clearly hadn’t noticed anything wrong as his smile widened while his eyes locked on Youngjin. “I didn’t know you knew him. Jongin’s an amazing author, ya know.” Youngjin nodded robotically. “I know. Do you mind if I…” his voice trailed off.
Thankfully, Jongin was already slamming his beer bottle down and walking off, motioning for Youngjin to follow him. Youngjin had never moved as fast in his life.
Jongin had brought Youngjin to the club’s back entrance, his hand holding the door open. Youngjin reluctantly exited and before he knew it, he was feeling extremely small despite being taller than Jongin. “So… you’re the leader of JC?” Youngjin nodded. “So, you’re that erratic guy who broke with his girlfriend with a big scene?” Youngjin awkwardly laughed. “You heard about that?” Jongin just nodded.
“The thing is… I’m not even angry about that. What I’m angry about is what you didn’t tell me. What else did you not tell me?” And the words fell faster than Youngjin could eve think of stopping them. “I lied about knowing you just to be matched with you.” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. The hurt that was clear on Jongin’s face was so earth shattering that the floor practically swallowed him hold.
When Youngjin had finally regained his composure, Jongin was already fleeing through the back door, leaving Youngjin alone.
Youngjin hadn’t spoken to Jongin in almost three weeks. Jongin had blocked his number, rejected his emails to his business accounts, and evaded all means of seeing him in person. And Youngjin was losing it. He hadn’t eaten in at least a week. His hygiene? Well that was another story to be told alone by mere scent. He hadn’t left his room since Tuesday and he could feel the other’s concern through the door. He just felt like shit. He just wanted to apologize to Jongin and with Jongin ignoring him, Youngjin want going to get anywhere/ Everyday, he’d sent a text asking- pleading for Jongin to actually talk to him. And everyday, Jongin would reply with silence.
Yet, Youngjin couldn’t complain. He had lied and deceived Jongin. He hadn’t been able to trust Jongin enough to trust him with the professional side of his life. He had ruined them. Not Jongin. Jongin was perfect. Jongin was-
“Youngjin, you have to get ready for work! Jackie won’t allow you to miss another day!” Joonyoung. After the whole relationship blow up, Joonyoung had found Youngjin completely shattered behind the Black Pearl’s dumpster. He had reverted to his motherly persona, taking care of a heartbroken Youngjin. He had driven the younger back and had taken care of him until he’d finally succumbed to regret and self-pity and hid in his room.
“Youngjin, come on. You have to come out!” Eddy this time. Youngjin began to weigh his options. Come out and face his band members or stay and get even more filthy and more distraught? The latter was extremely appealing. “No! Go away!” What Youngjin was not expecting was for Eddy to put his martial art skills to use and break down his door, clean off the hinges. The elder had glared at Youngjin before shoving him out the room, over the trashed door and into the bathroom. After being threatened by Eddy, Youngjin finally took care of his hygienic situation. After a half hour, he emerged wearing an oversized sweater and boxers.
“Perfect,” Joonyoung said when Youngjin entered the living room. News of his breakdown was wafting off the television set in waves. Junah watched from Hadon’s lap. Youngjin plopped down beside them. “Simba of JC found in yet another controversy. After seven months after his public break up with SNSD’s Yura, he is found in a dumpster in a mental breakdown. Reports say he had another relationship conflict. Jackie Chan’s issued a press conference this afternoon to address the matter.”
Press. Conference? The words barely registered in Youngjin’s mind before he understood. “I’m attending a press conference today.” Joonyoung nodded. Youngjin sighed. It had to be done, he assumed. Might as well ease the public, tight?
Youngjin paced around the dressing room anxiously. He’d been waiting patiently for the PR director or someone to call him. To warn him to find something to say. Yet, no one came, leaving Youngjin alone with his thoughts. What if everything went wrong? What if everything ended up the same as it did with Yura. A failure. What if all his hard word went to waste? The what ifs swirled around in his mind, parasitic as they chewed into his brain and thoughts.
“Kim Youngjin? Are you ready?” a man with a huge lanyard asked, his eyes trained on him. He nodded. The, am wordlessly lead him to a stage, just out of sight. Jackie wasn’t there. It was his assistant who called Youngjin to the front, asking him to be as honest as he could. Youngjin knew that, that meant to do exactly as you’ve been told to say. This wasn’t his first press conference.
And, without Youngjin knowing, he was already standing in front of the podium, mouth dry and reluctant to speak. The reporters and camera crew were made with their questions and flashes. “Did you really have a melt down?” “Do you know that the man you were dating was a famous author?” “What is your view on the subject?” “Do you want to get back together with him.”
The questions stopped the moment he spoke. “After my relationship with Yura ended miserably, my bandmates urged me to do the right thing and go to the agency. I resented the idea. The agency wasn’t for me. Yet, I went. I wanted to find someone who liked me and would make me look better in the public eye. As you know, breaking up with someone on stage isn’t really commendable.” A murmur of agreement erupted.
Youngjin sighed. “So, I went. I saw him, yes. It’s a guy. I saw him when I was waiting and while he was coming out. So, when I was in the questioning process, I said that our personalities were alike to be paired with him. And it happened. I guess you can say we were seeing each other platonically. But I was lying to him. And when he realized it and everything happened, I was too forgone. It was a pity too. I really liked him. Even in the short span of time, I wanted to enter a serious relation with him.
“I guess all I can do now is apologize. To him. To Yura and Benji. To all of you for coming out. And to my bandmates and fans. I can’t really say all that I want here yet I hope you all will allow me to do so in a move personal way. That’s all.
Youngjin ignored the demands and questions as he walked off the stage. He set a look to Jackie’s assistant and then a thankful one to the crowd. That’s where he saw him. There, in the middle of the sea of reporters, was Kim Jongin, looking apologetic and wanting to say some.
That day, when the press conference was still underway, Youngjin and Jongin were in the dressing room, Youngjin pressing Jongin into the wall. Maybe fighting just made for really great make ups. Regardless, as Youngin had Jongin keening under him, he smiled.
He was perfect.
